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Berchem Moses PC
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Points to consider as you ponder divorce

One of life’s most difficult decisions is whether or not to divorce. For many people, arriving at the decision to divorce can be as difficult as the process of divorce itself. Psychotherapist, clinical social worker and author Abby Rodman recently penned an article for the Huffington Post on things to consider as you wrestle with the choice to stay together or separate forever.

Rodman writes that many people get stuck in the decision-making process, waiting for a hatred of their spouse to set in. They are often puzzled that they still care about their spouse, though the marriage isn’t working and that it might be time to bring it to an end. Rodman notes that divorce is “not about hate and loathing.” Instead, she writes, it’s about deciding “that your marriage isn't and can't ever be a healthy, peaceful place.”

She lays out some other points to ponder as you consider divorce, including the following:

  • Your life doesn’t end with divorce. Instead, it keeps going: you continue to go to work, and if you have children, you continue to care for them. You do all of that even as you work on reconciling yourself to the absence of the former spouse with whom you spent a significant amount of time, energy and emotion.
  • Out with the bad – and the good. Rodman writes that when you divorce, not only do the irritating or harmful habits of the former spouse depart your life, but so do the good things he or she did. Taking care of finances? Gone. The support you got in dealing with family or job stress? No longer available. And so on.
  • Post-divorce life means change. Finances change. Some friends leave your life. Your kids will likely struggle with their emotions for a period. Your family is altered. 

If you have reached the decision to divorce, it’s important to find a Connecticut family law attorney experienced in helping clients navigate the difficult legal decisions regarding child custody, visitation, property division and other common areas of dispute. 

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